The Shamrock Shimmy is a dance. It will be held onMarch 17th from 5-9PM(St. Patrick's Day) at Forestview Church, whose address I will put at the end of the email. With all the rain we've had lately, we had to switch from the outside dance idea to going indoors. Please dress appropriately for the dance and wear green. You don't want to get pinched. This dance is going to be filled with reels, polkas, and promenades. You will probably hear some songs you know. This event will be great, so sign up.
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Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean. 
